The Dreaded Question
by Icewind Alchemist
Summary: It's the question all parents dread from their children. Just how can you answer the question without giving the full answer? Prequel to Death God Chronicles. OC alert for kids. Slight IchiRuki at the end.


I guess you can say this is an unofficial prequel to **Death God Chronicles**. But you don't need to read this to find out what's going on-it's just a side story.

…GAH! Worst introduction ever! Let's just get on with the story!

**Has Hell frozen over? The answer to that is my answer to the question "Do I own Bleach?"**

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"Daddy, where do babies come from?" Ichigo stared in shock at his five year-old son's words, Kaien looking back innocently. Isshin had once commented that the boy sometimes gave the same look the twenty-eight year-old used to give when he was little.

The two of them were on their way back home after spending most of the afternoon in the park. Rukia had taken the girls, Hisana and their newest addition Masaki, out to look for items for the latter-the former following with to add an opinion. The older male knew that the boy would only keep asking other people the question if he refused to answer, so there was only one thing left to do.

"Umm…well, you see…" Ichigo racked his mind for an answer. "A stork…uhhh…delivers the baby to the parents who want one!" He silently prayed that would satisfy the young boy. The problem was…one question always led to another when it concerned Kaien.

"But how does the stork know where to deliver the baby?" Kaien asked. "Or what if he drops the baby off with someone who doesn't want to be a mommy or daddy?"

"He...err…." The older male ran a hand through his orange hair, frustrated. For some odd reason, though looking back it was a stroke of luck, the image of his father's chicken whistle popped into his head. "When two people are married they, err…get a special whistle! And when they blow it the sound alerts the stork and tells him they want a baby!"

"So how come Mommy got fat before Masaki came?" This kid's curiosity would probably get him in trouble later, but for now-

"That's…the signal for the stork so he'll know who the baby goes to."

"And how did Mommy suddenly loose all that weight?"

"She didn't need it anymore, so she lost it with the help of the…uhhh…hospital people."

"But then why was she screaming and getting mad at you when the stork brought Masaki?"

'Just where does he come up with these questions?' Ichigo thought for a moment before replying. "That's part of loosing weight. It happens when the stork is very close."

"Why can't the daddy be the one getting fat?" Kaien piped up again.

"Err…the daddy isn't able to hold the signal so it's the mommy's job. Is that-"

"One more thing!" Kaien interrupted. Ichigo inwardly groaned. "How does the baby look like the parents? How does the stork know that San should look like Mommy and I should look like you?" An expected question, the older male had to admit. It was hard to avoid comments about how much the older two resembled their parents. "Or what about Masaki? How come San and I have Mommy's hair color and Masaki has yours? Or I have a bit of yours, too?" Another expected question.

"The stork has a special…ummm…machine that he uses to…err…decide what the baby looks like using…uhhh…pictures of the parents." Ichigo scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "And that's about it!" Thankfully they had arrived home, Rukia already in the house with the girls.

"Daddy, I have one more question. And I promise that's all!"

"Alright, Kaien. What is it?"

"Next time you and Mommy use the stork whistle, can I watch?"

"NO!" A couple of pedestrians stared at him. Kaien also looked scared for a moment before looking towards the ground with a kicked puppy look. His father sighed and rubbed his son's disorderly black-and-orange strands. "Sorry about that. But that's something you'll find out on your own when you're older. Besides, your mom and I are probably going to return the whistle."

"Why?"

"I don't think we'll be able to handle four kids."

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"Phew, everything's set up." Rukia commented, tucking baby Masaki into her crib. San and Kaien were also sleeping, leaving the elder two of the house alone. "The girls were a handful, but it was an alright day. How about you and Kaien?"

"He asked where babies came from." Ichigo stated bluntly. "I had to think of a whole story about a stork bringing babies to couples to answer his questions." Rukia let out an exasperated sigh. "What?"

"San asked me the same thing today." Rukia replied. "And I told her that babies were grown from cabbages."

Ichigo couldn't help but smile. "And how'd you cover up for your sudden gain in weight?"

"The stuff I was eating would make a special fertilizer which, when the right time came, would be used to help the baby come out of the cabbage." The two of them were now curled up in the living room.

"And genetic resembelence?"

"Also in the fertilizer."

"Guess Kaien's not the only one who asks a lot of questions."

Rukia shrugged, snuggling closer. "But did he ask if he could watch the next time you wanted to plant a cabbage for a baby?"

"No-he asked if he could watch us call the stork next time. I don't know about you, but this is getting me worried. Anyways, I guess we won't be planting anymore cabbages."

The dark haired woman let out a short laugh. "Don't you mean we won't be calling the stork anymore?"

Ichgio brushed his lips against Rukia's forehead. "Same thing."

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The next day the two parents were faced with a new problem-explaining to their kids why each of them was told a different story about where babies came from. This time, they decided to leave it at "you'll learn when you're older."

Both simultaneously sighed in relief when both Kaien and San didn't ask anymore questions and instead headed off for school.

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Huzzah! I'm finished.

…and I SUCK at romance scenes! But I really wanted to add one at the end.

Anyways, yes the story is K+ because the conversations only IMPLY what is the truth. But those of you who know what's going on have probably gotten the jokes in the story.

Now to get back to work on my stories!


End file.
